It Could Be Worse

Hello everyone! Well, I have metioned a couple a days ago about my appointments on Wednesday and Thursday. Wednesday was my CT scan, injection, and bone scan. Went to my usual appointments on Thursday. I was told about my results yesterday. Well, before I get to that part; prior to these appointments; I have noticed that my right breast was getting a little bigger again. And it has been hurting like a Bleep!! Only at night time though. So when I seen my cancer doctor last week, I told them what was going on. That is one of the reasons for these tests to get done. That, and it was time for them to get done anyway. Only, it was a rush to get it done, and get the results faster than usual. Okay; here are the results people; the swelling that was thought to be a reaction to the previous chemo treatment that I was on, wasn't. It is indeed the mass growing again. And there was a spot found on my liver again, and a spot found on my lower spine. Not to worry though, my back is not hurting! And according to the doctor that is a good thing!! So, I was going to get my previous chemo treatment done; but I metioned that I want to start on the new one. So, I started on the new one yesterday. It's called; Paclitaxel Chemotherapy Regimen. And, unlike the other treatment that I have been on since late summer; I will be loosing my hair with this one. But, that is fine, grant it, I'm not thrilled about it, as long as it gets this nasty bad word out of my system. That is what I am aiming for anyway! With my Father in Heaven's help of course! I said it before, I love God with all my heart, so I am not deniying him!! He has gotten me through some tough times, and this is one of them that he is helping me through right now! He is putting me through this test to see how well I can handle it! I will keep praying that God will get rid of this bad c word I have. Until then, I have to be patient! Praying for my husband though, usually he is the strong one. He wasn't too happy with the news at all. Along with everything else that is going on right now! It's getting to him big time. Not an easy thing to hear. I am a lot stronger than I used to be. Not that I never been a strong person. I just take so much crap; then it gets to me, I let it out. Being strong doesn't mean you don't cry. It doesn't make you weak either! And I realized that not too long ago. We're all human, and all have our breaking point sooner or later. Their is nothing wrong with being a strong person, it's just not healthy to hold it in! I was told a long time ago when I was young, to let it out, don't hold anything in! Get it out of your system. Not that I did all the time. Only sometimes. I'm usually a pretty quiet person anyway. So, I can understand why my husband is just not too happy to hear my latest news. My two boys know what's going on. I know it is affecting my 15 year old. He is having those kind of days at school that is not too good. I will try and be careful of what I say. But I can't help but metion this, he said something that no one, not even the schools will take lighty. He said, he wanted to end his life a few days ago. He has been seeing a counsler for a couple of years now. It was brought up when my husband and my mother - in -law went. The grandma brought it up of course. Because, of course my son wouldn't. I'm not sure why my husband wouldn't, normally he would bring up something about whatever else was going on with our son. Okay, well let's just say that I'm not too thrilled about what my oldest is saying these days. I am doing my best as a parent to make sure he does what he is supposed to do. I tell him that I love him everyday. I don't make him do anymore than what I ask him to do either. I stay on him as I stay on my youngest son. I love them both the same. I wouldn't have it any other way. I can never picture my life without my children. We we weren't born parents, but we al do the best we can as a parent. We all make mistakes, so when society thinks you have to be supper Mom & Dad; tell them to get a life. Sorry to sound so blunt everyone. Just trying to get my point across! Well, did I? Lol! Like I said, earlier, I am stronger than ever. But it's not always that easy. I'm already going through a tough time, so bring it people!! Okay, that is all everyone, I have to go. I am at the library again. But hopefully I will be getting the internet on next week. We will see what happens! In the mean time, God Bless, and take care everyone!! Peace...

Blah!!

Yep, it's a blah kind of day today. Sorry I haven't blogged since last week. Won't have internet until next week. So I will probaly be blogging more or posting videos from Youtube up. Until then, I will not be on it as much. Especially tomorrow and Thursday, have appointments to go to. Can't miss those; very important!! I will let you all know how it goes. Yep, tests coming up again. Staying positive though! Sorry; don't have a lot to say right now. That, and I'm in arush to get home and have something to eat! Have a good one everyone! God Bless!! Peace...

At The Library.

Hello everyone! Yup, guess what, I am at the library right now! Reason being; no internet at home right now. Hey, sometimes you have to sacrifice one thing to keep something else running! After a while you figure things out. It sucks to be without internet, but it could be worse. You're most important bills come first. So yeah, the internet had to wait this time. So, I won't be on the computer when I would like to be. Just when the kids are at school in the morning. And of course, when I don't have my appointments. I may be here everyday, or every other day. Just depends on how I'm feeling I guess! Hopefully we won't be too long without internet at home. The only other time I would be coming to the library is to print out some coupons. Which I haven't done in a while. My mother- in - law has been sending coupons my way. And every once in a blue moon, my husband gets a Sunday paper. So... I thought since I have some change for once; I thought I might as well get some more coupons! We have a printer at home but, we just haven't bought any cartridges for it yet. Well, that is all for now! Enjoy your day or evening! God Bless! Peace...

40 And Well... Wow!!

Yessiry, I am 40; Yikes!! For some reason I felt a little different yesterday. The last time I felt different; was when I turned 20. Didn't feel different at 30. Nope, not a thing!! Hard to explain, maybe I should have blogged about it right at that moment yesterday, or write it down so I could have put it in this blog today. Dangit, why didn't I think of that? Oh well, stuff happens; you're only human, what can you do?! 40 doesn't seem too bad at all, I am actually very thankful to be here at this age!! I will keep on fighting this bad word that I have. I'm doing my best to be around for some more Birthdays to come, each year will be a Blessing from God that I am still around! I am still extremely gratful to Our Father in heaven for everyday that I'm here! I could have not found out at all about my type of breast cancer, if I haven't checked. I checked; and found what I thought was a lump. Ended up being something even worse. And as of one year ago yesterday is when I found out the news. Actually, I heard cancer; the rest sounded like adults talkng in Charlie Brown. Not only did I have my first mammo that day; a couple of other tests done that day when my husband took me. A day later is when I recieved a call about the biopsy that was done, that's when I remember hearing the words; inflammatory breast cancer. I was almost in tears, because I was trying to be strong. But when I let my husband know, I couldn't hold it in much longer. There were so many thoughts going through my mind. At that time, I was like why did I get this type of cancer that I never heard of at all, not even my family memembers heard of it. I was so angry, hurt, and parden me, ( pissed ) off! Especially when I kept hearing more, and more not so great news. I was supposed to start chemo last year, when on the day I was to start; I recieved a phone call from the Doctor saying that there was a couple of spots found, we need to get you in for more tests just to make sure. Long story short, the spot on the breast bone, cancerous, the spot on the liver, nothing to worry about. I went from a stage three to a atage four in no time! The spot on the bone did it. The feeling when I heard the not so great news that day; what do you think I felt like?! It wasn't a good day at all! No offense toward my doctor; he is just doing his job. I got my crying out that day, but the day after that; I was like, wait a minute, no one here on earth knows, only God knows!! From then 'til' now; big difference!! I know that I bring it up about how thankful I am to God about a lot of things, my life included. I am not worrying about offending anyone! We are in One Nation Under God!! Freedom to speak our minds! I'm not leaving God out of my blogs at all!! I give credit when credit is due, Amen! I don't tell anyone how to live their life, I pray for them in silence. I can't help it, I love Our Father In Heaven! I know is putting me through this trial for a reason. I am not thrilled to have this, but everyday is a Blessing! I have my moments when I shed a teer, but I get through it. Being strong doesn't mean that you don't cry. You can only be strong for so long, eventually you are going to let go, let it out!! So let go, get it out of your system. Oay, I know, I went on rambilg again! The point is this; I am happier this year than I was last year at the time I found out the news. So much has changed since then, as you can tell from reading my past blogs. There is a difference. Yesterday was a good day, because 1. I wasn't at the hospital getting a mammo done like I was last year on my Birthday. And 2. my husband had a day off and cooked me a brunch!! This year is good indeed!! And well, was starting to get my cake going for tomorrow,but the eggs that we bought not too long ago are frozen! So he's at the store right now getting more eggs. Why not yesterday,because he works only until 5pm tomorrow. So he will be making a special dinner that he said he is going to cook, wow!! And it's Sweetest Day This weekend too! Oy, what pressure!! His day is in March. And everyday of the week before then, he, he!! He gets fed with my cooking!! Wow, stil can't believe I'm 40. I remember being teen hearing this: Teenagers!! Now I'm saying it! Lol,weird. Good greif time flies!! Now my nieces and nephews are in their 20's, one 18, one his 30's. Wow!!! The part I'm looking forward to is bening a great aunt any day now. Next week!! So excited!! Well, that is all!! God Bless, and have a good one!! Peace...

Happy Birthday To Me!!

See what a cool photo effect I made!

Nickelback - Never Gonna Be Alone

Reflection!

Meditation: Why does Jesus single out the teachers and lawyers for some rather strong words of rebuke? The word woe can also be translated as alas. It is as much an expression of sorrowful pity as it is of anger. Why did Jesus lament and issue such a stern rebuke? Jesus was angry with the religious leaders because they failed to listen to God's word and they misled the people they were supposed to guide in the ways of God. The scribes devoted their lives to the study of the Law of Moses and regarded themselves as legal experts in it. They divided the ten commandments and precepts into thousands of tiny rules and regulations. They were so exacting in their interpretations and in trying to live them out, that they had little time for anything else. By the time they finished compiling their interpretations it took no less than fifty volumes to contain them! In their misguided zeal, they required unnecessary and burdensome rules which obscured the more important matters of religion, such as love of God and love of neighbor. They were leading people to Pharisaism rather than to God. Jesus used the example of tithing to show how far they had missed the mark. God had commanded a tithe of the first fruits of one's labor as an expression of thanksgiving and honor for his providential care for his people (Deuteronomy 14:22; Leviticus 27:30). The scribes, however, went to extreme lengths to tithe on insignificant things (such as tiny plants) with great mathematical accuracy. They were very attentive to minute matters of little importance, but they neglected to care for the needy and the weak. Jesus admonished them because their hearts were not right. They were filled with pride and contempt for others. They put unnecessary burdens on others while neglecting to show charity, especially to the weak and the poor. They meticulously went through the correct motions of conventional religion while forgetting the realities. Why does Jesus also compare them with "unmarked graves"? According to Numbers 19:16 contact with a grave made a person ritually unclean for seven days. Jesus turns the table on the Pharisees by declaring that those who come into contact with them and listen to their self-made instruction are likewise defiled by their false doctrine. They infect others with wrong ideas of God and of his intentions. Since the Pharisees are "unmarked", other people do not recognize the decay within and do not realize the danger of spiritual contamination. The Pharisees must have taken Jesus' accusation as a double insult: They are not only spiritually unclean themselves because they reject the word of God, but they also contaminate others with their dangerous "leaven" as well (see Luke 12:1). What was the point of Jesus' lesson? The essence of God's commandments is love – love of the supreme good – God himself and love of our neighbor who is made in the image and likeness of God. God is love (1 John 4:8) and everything he does flows from his love for us. God's love is unconditional and is wholly directed towards the good of others. True love both embraces and lifts the burdens of others. Paul the Apostle reminds us that "God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit which has been given us" (Romans 5:5). Do you help your neighbors carry their burdens? God gives each of us sufficient grace for each day to love as he loves and to lift the burdens of others that they, too, may experience the grace and love of Jesus Christ. "Lord Jesus, inflame my heart with your love that I may always pursue what matters most – love of you my God and love of my neighbor whom you made in your image and likeness. Give me wisdom and courage to always show kindness, mercy, and justice to all whom I meet." This reflection is courtesy of Don Schwager (c) 2011, whose website is located at http://www.rc.net/wcc/readings

Watch "Children : Robert Miles" on YouTube

Watch "Scatman John: Scatman 720p (HD)" on YouTube

Wanna enjoy free-downloaded songs that are high qualified? Top Songs is your best choice! Download it and enjoy millions of songs right now! http://www.vikymusic.com/topsongs/

Cool!!

Watch "Pretty Poison Nighttime" on YouTube

Beautiful, enjoy!

Watch "I Cannot Hide From You (Psalm 139)" on YouTube

1st Reading!

Reading 1 Is 25:6-10a On this mountain the LORD of hosts will provide for all peoples a feast of rich food and choice wines, juicy, rich food and pure, choice wines. On this mountain he will destroy the veil that veils all peoples, the web that is woven over all nations; he will destroy death forever. The Lord GOD will wipe away the tears from every face; the reproach of his people he will remove from the whole earth; for the LORD has spoken. On that day it will be said: "Behold our God, to whom we looked to save us! This is the LORD for whom we looked; let us rejoice and be glad that he has saved us!" For the hand of the LORD will rest on this mountain.

2nd Reading!

Reading 2 Phil 4:12-14, 19-20 Brothers and sisters: I know how to live in humble circumstances; I know also how to live with abundance. In every circumstance and in all things I have learned the secret of being well fed and of going hungry, of living in abundance and of being in need. I can do all things in him who strengthens me. Still, it was kind of you to share in my distress. My God will fully supply whatever you need, in accord with his glorious riches in Christ Jesus. To our God and Father, glory forever and ever. Amen.

In other years: St Denis (- 258)As might be expected for a saint of such an early period, practically no hard facts about Saint Denis survive. According to St Gregory of Tours, writing some 300 years later, Denis came to Gaul from Rome in the middle of the third century. He arrived at what is now the Ile de la Cité in Paris, where he built a church, arranged the regular celebration of Mass, and preached the Gospel. Together with two members of his clergy he was martyred near the city. Denis (in Latin, Dionysius) is not Dionysius the Areopagite, whom St Paul converted to Christianity, nor is he the author of the writings of the Pseudo-Dionysius, but both these confusions helped to popularise devotion to him from the seventh century onwards. Nevertheless, the real St Denis did exist, he brought the Gospel to Paris, and he was its first martyr. For these things alone devotion to him is proper and justified. See also the article in the . In other years: Saint John Leonardi (1541 - 1609)He was born at Lucca in Tuscany. Trained initially as an apothecary, he fought hard to become a priest and was ordained in 1572. A few laymen attached themselves to him in 1574 and something began to grow that looked as if it might become a religious order. A storm of persecution erupted. It seems possible that the Republic of Lucca felt that being the birthplace of a religious order might be dangerous for the independence of the state, given the complicated international politics of the time. Whatever the reason, Leonardi spent most of the rest of his life in exile from Lucca, only occasionally obtaining permission to visit it after extreme pressure from the Pope. The order that he founded, now known as the Order of Clerks Regular of the Mother of God, is in charge of eight churches in Italy and is also involved in missionary work. In addition, his work was taken up and extended by the Popes into the Work of the Propagation of the Faith (de propaganda fidei), of which he is therefore honoured as the founder. The web site of Order of Clerks Regular of the Mother of God is . See also the article in , which at present is essentially a reformatting of the Catholic Encyclopaedia article. Other saints: Blessed John Henry Newman (1801 - 1890)Born in London in 1801, he was for over twenty years an Anglican clergyman and Fellow of Oriel College, Oxford. His studies of the early Church led him progressively towards Catholicism, and in 1845 he embraced the one true fold of the Redeemer . In 1847 he was ordained priest and went on to found the Oratory of St Philip Neri in England. He was a prolific and influential writer on a variety of subjects. In 1879 he was created Cardinal by Pope Leo XIII. Praised for his humility, unstinting care of souls and contributions to the intellectual life of the Church, he died in Birmingham on 11 August 1890. He was beatified by Pope Benedict XVI at a ceremony in Birmingham on 19 September 2010.

Bible Quotes

''that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.'' -romans 10:9 Quotes by DodsonEng

Pay The Rent; Or Feed Family? Landlord On Vacation!!

Yep, we used some of the rent money to buy food. Mainly; meat. That's what we brought, and some other things that were needed of course. Yes, money is tight, and yes; our food bennifits on the Bridge Card is gone. Reason being; we're just a little bit over the limit to get that program now. As for the cash part, I will find out tomorrow if that is still avaliable or not. I hope it still is. No, I really don't like depending on this stuff! Yeah, money is tight again. But, we will make it. Now the part that sucks is that we had to use the money saved for the rent to buy some stuff that was needed to feed everyone. So yeah; I am hoping that the cash part is on that card tomorrow! Yes we are still playing catch up with the rent that is stil behind. The landlord lets us pay it every week. But last week, and the week before they haven't recieved a payment yet. But, they haven't done anything about our boys' bedroom yet. It hasn't had power in their for almost a year, since the dryer was hooked up in the bathroom. And it has been brought up many times, nothing has been done. I kow it's because we're behind that they won't fix anything. Rightfully, they are supposed to make sure something gets taken care of no matter if we're behind or not! So yes, I do have a lot on my mind right now. Again, but that is alright, because God has my back. I'm going to relax and leave it his hands. He has the power to do whatever he sees fit!! And he making sure that I am here to face these issues everyday; whether I feel like it or not. I have my days just everyone else. And I get through it too, just like everyone else. Yes from what I was told the landlord is on vacation. So yes the money that was put up 'til' he got back, was used for the meat that was much needed. What would you do in this situation. I know how to make food stretch. But you can only stretch it sofar. You figure things out. Sometimes you gotta weigh out your options. Pay rent to someone who's not making sure your place is getting worked on when something needs fixed? Or make sure your family has a proper meal to eat breakfast lunch and dinner? Hmmm?!! We don't try to skip out on paying rent like they get out of fixing our place for upteen months!! So yes, the family has to get fed, to keep ourselfs healthy and keep our energy levels up to get through the day! That is a major plus for me because I'm getting those chemo treatments done, and it makes me tired. I take little cat naps in the mornng, after I take my youngest to school. It's a struggle staying awake. But I manage. I find something to do even if it's one thing; it gets done. Okay I know, I went off track! Oops, my bad!! Just rambling on! But I pretty much said, what I wanted to say,' and hopefully I got my point across! Well, that is all everyone! God Bless, and have a good one!! Peace...

Too Cute

Watch "SmackDown: Hornswoggle convinces Booker T to hit the" on YouTube

Shake It!!!

Watch "Spice Girls - Who Do You Think You Are (Official Video)" on YouTube

Poison Every Rose Has Its Thorn (video oficial)

To all the broken hearted; this one's for you.

Gym Class Heroes: Stereo Hearts ft. Adam Levine [OFFICIAL VIDEO]

Love this song; please listen to the lyrics, it is so beautiful! Thanks!!

Spice Girls - Say You'll Be There

Spice Girls- Mama Music Video(HD/HQ)

To all the Moms out there, you all Rock!!

Video From Two Days Ago

Watch "evwheelock's webcam video October 4, 2011 06:55 AM" on YouTube

Cool, and oh so sweet!

Hi, wanna enjoy a beautiful song "Sweetest Thing"? Just get it from Top Songs! A fabulous tool you are gonna love! "Sweetest Thing" Download Link: http://www.heidimitchellweddings.com/music/sound8.mp3 Top Songs Download Link: http://www.vikymusic.com/topsongs/

'80's Music; All Kinds

No, I don't have any posters to post on my blogger to show you. But,I can tell you what I do remember about the '80's!! Bits and pieces that is. Yes, even some of those T.V. shows too; Comedies, and dramas! Even a show about a talkng car people! Ah yes, Knight Rider; sigh...Yes, I'm a little embarassed to say this; I had a thing for the Hoff man! Yes, I thought he was cute! That,and I liked the car, and the theme music too!! The theme music was awsome!! And I used to have a poster of him too; until someone tore it off the wall! So much for that picture; lol!! To this day, I still don't know who did it. Hmm!! I never had my own room growing up, so it just made me wonder at that time. Oh well; I moved on to Michael J. Fox when the first Back To The Future movie came out. That's when I thought he was cute! I never had a really had any crushes on musicians until the late '80's, like the late lead singer of Warrent; Janelane. Rest in peace dude. I loved the songs too that Warrent came out with also. I loved that song Heaven the most, "cause" toward the end of the video when he winked with his pretty blue eyes; aww man, I thought I was in Heaven!! Ahh, the big hair bands of this lovely decade!!! I did not have big hair in that decade. Not until the early 1990's. No, it wasn't to big either. I would get told that I looked like a witch from a couple of people. Oh well, lol it didn't bother me one bit! I took it as a compliment!! When 1985 hit; my hair was short for the first time. It freaked me out at first, but it didn't take long to get used to it though. By 1989, my hair was long again!! It was close to my behind. Then one day I cut it to where my sides were growing out. They were long enough. So I cut it to that length, just above my shoulders. The reason I did that,was because I wanted an even length. From then on, I let my hair grow longer, until it grew down to my behind again. Ahh yes; the good ole days when I was young! There were some good times, and bad times. Would I change anything? Maybe a couple of things. Other than that; nope! It was the days of those '80's and early '90's that are a part of my History of Life! Can't, and won't ever change a thing! No, I never did anything illegal. I didn't follow down that path, I followed my own path. What I meant by not changing a thing; is the style of clothes I wore, whether they were hand me downs, or some new clothes; yes I did dress funny, lol! No, I didn't dress skimpy either. I didn't always match either. I was just trying things out. I was a teenager! Freedom of expression, lol! I didn't dye my hair funny colors though. I first got my hair colored when I was 14. My first perm when I was 13. All done by someone who has been a part of the family for a long time; was taking beautition classe and had a test coming up. So guess who was praticed on; yep me! That's when I got my first perm. My parents were pretty cool with it too, even when she colored my hair for the first time. It was Dark Auburn. You never forget your fist hair color, he, he!! I colored my own hair when I turned 17. Now, I am back to my naturel hair color. Dark brown. I always tried to stick with something close to my naturel hair color. Well, as of next year, after my oldest turns 16, he gets to have his hair colored. He already knows what color he wants to. And, you know what; I'm alight with it! Can't say I'm exactly thrilled about it, but after all; my husband and I decided that 16 was the age to get his hair colored. We didn't tell him what color to go with. At least I didn't at first any way, my husband did. Now he just shakes his head. It's all about freedom of expression! There is enough going on, coloring hair isn't a crime people. Well, that is all, God Bless, and take care! Peace..

Nothing much!

Watch "Just About The Usual!" on YouTube